I am a little late and angry. I could have been late in the medical sense too for all I know, but I really just can't remember.
On a list of things not to do anywhere, let alone abroad, there is definitely an item like this: Do not bet important personal items of yours on games of chance, or those where your already mediocre playing skills have been further molested by the god of wine, rum and redbull. Yet still, for all I know, I did indeed bet - and lost - my digital camera on a game of pool, in a bar on the first night in Nha Trang, while completely inebriated.
I like to think some happy little Vietnamese man has used the proceeds from selling it to feed his family for a week or something, but chances are some rich whgite tourist is laughing his fat little head off all day taking photos of his cake-swollen kids and bitchy trash wife all over the beach.
If I see it in anyone's hands I'll shove a boogie board right up their fucking.... actually, go on, guess the orifice? It'll be fun. I was gonna start down low but then take it out and do an impromptu tracheotomy with it using the same end.

Bitter? Like goddamned lemons, trust me on this.

Of course this is just one possibility - the other is that I was robbed, and frankly this is more likely because my wallet was missing in the morning too. According to the hotel staff I smacked the shit out of shutter doors at about 4am, waking everyone up within a mile and a quarter from ground zero (I felt a little like a bomb at this point) and stumbled, well, fell up the stairs into the room and woke Greg, who was just thrilled to see me as you may imagine.

I don't seem to have any major injuries - no more than the usual twisted legs and bruised elbows I always get from trying to dance while drunk, which almost certainly happened if the howling laughs of the bar staff the next morning are anything to go by as I shamefully trudged the long, long walk to the bar to see if anypone had `found` a silver camera (Ha! Ha! Funny..), so if I was mugged then I was either passed out by the roadside, which is as good a place for a mugging as any, or I sensibly (in a moment of somewhat unique behaviour as you can probably agree) surrendered my belongings willfully at the point of whatever weapon I was threatened with.

It could have been a banana in a sock for all I know - christ knows I couldn't have told the difference between knife, gun or piece of soft fruit by THAT point in the evening.

So the upshot is that I'm broke, have no camera, and no credit cards so basically no more money. Go me.

-

On the upside, Vietnam is just lovely. Did I tell you about Saigon yet? Well nothing much happened, I got a bunch of photos but the god of taking the piss outof Tim saw to it that I can't prove it, because they were, of course, on the camera when I lost it, bet it, had it nicked.
Nha trang seem nice - I actually have some useful observations about the country and the Southeast Asian peninsular in general soon, but first I just had to share this thought:

"Drinking's bad, m'kay?"