I've had a few days not using the computers much at all - yesterday, in fact, was rather good for this. After an early morning piece of posting where the `latest` videos and pictures made their debut, I went out and did things, a great shock to all the staff and fellow residents here :D

On that matter I am concerning myself with for this post because I just want to get something off my chest. It may not be the most even-handed thing a man has ever written, nor the kindest, but still it has to be said. It is a touch less than polite and a little bit judgemental, but that is nothing as to what has been directed towards me, I think you'll find.

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A fine hotel this is, even despite the cockroaches, for the staff are pleasant and helpful at all times. In a strange and unexpected contrast to this the other residents were, I thought at one point, ganging up on me. At least all the French ones seemed to be anyway - I had a strange few encounters with 2 out of the 3 older French blokes who are staying at the same hotel over the last fortnight: they really, really don't like me using the internet...

The first was when one of the men, whose English was partial and fragmented, said to me; well actually, `dictated` would be a better word; that I "shouldn't be here", and that I should "get out and see India". He said to me (after asking me my age - I reply; 26) that he was "48 years and so I know, I know, okay. You should not be on 'ere. That's all I say." He turns away and refuses any further conversation, such as my attempt to explain one or two things.
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Through gritted mind I sought to try not to explain the too-complicated reasons; specifically that this was my displacement therapy to avoid a continued life of miserable alcohol abuse and he can quietly go and fuck himself leave me the hell alone if he thinks that he stands a chance of ruining that. I remained calm, although frankly shocked that anyone would have the nerve to say all that to a stranger.

I knew this wasn't going to quite work, but;
I tried to explain that I have seen rather a lot of India, 128 days of it in fact at the time when he said this (I worked it out later in a moment of pettiness) and had had quite enough of India in many ways, having been uncomfortably close to some of its less desirable aspects.

Also that I probably had seen considerably more than he had, and if he cared to not go about telling strangers what to do then maybe the worldwide opinion of the French people might improve.

Okay, I wouldn't have added that last bit, that would have been rude; the thing is though, that in the opposite situation I got the distinct impression that he WOULD have included it. My deductions are lent slightly more weight in the following examples, I'm not just being rude about the French. I'm telling you what happened. Then being rude about them. A little bit. Nothing unfounded, as you'll see.

His parting line to me was, to cap it off: "you are not a good man." Well really. Whether this was a misundertanding of the English words and their meaning, or he was just a rude bastard I'm not certain. Either way I don't need to be judged so briefly and heartlessly by a total stranger, thanks all the same.
Wait until you get to know me before you can realise in full what a complete and utter bastard I am :D

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The second case was a few days later, and I was using one of the machines in the late afternoon. Another of the French chappies - who I had never spoken a word to but had recieved the odd possibly-filthy look from - was sat opposite me in the lobby, and was perhaps impatient, although I hadn't noticed.

He comes up to me after about 10 minutes sat there though, and his English is better, he says "I must use the machine, you cannot stay on. You have been here all day. I have very important email to answer, you must leave" in somewhat less-than polite tones. To the point, yes, but rather lacking in manners.

Okay, yes, I had been on there for 5 or 6 hours by this point, that's true. There are two computers though and he never even asked the guy on the other one, just came straight for me. I said okay, no worries, I'll just save my work and then fair enough, he can go right ahead, mostly because it was polite and partly because I was once again stunned at the presumption.

I knew by this point that what both these fellows were thinking was that they should be using the facilities I was using instead of me. And by thinking, I mean that they thought they had more right to use them than me, otherwise they would use the other one after a little wait. Yes it's not perfect, but then I have to wait for someone to finish often too. Same deal, chummies.
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Just to make this clear: this is over a pair of computers in the hotel lobby, computers only installed in the last few months and not detailed in any guides; no-one comes here thinking they'll have easy internet access, it is a total bonus.
There are two machines, as I have said, and the other is almost always free in the daytime, and often free in the evening.

There are also at least 25 internet cafes in Ernakulam, the closest is 5 minutes walk away, the next closest about 7 minutes. I'm hardly monopolising the entire concept of internet communications, I'm just taking the first option available to me, and if they are both in use I go to one of the other places that are close, as I had done a few times before, as I have done a few times since.
First come = first served, them's the rules, so you can like it or you can stuff a baguette up your arse, quite frankly.
I have only begun getting a little ratty about French, though, after the third case.
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Now after the last example where I was, not incidentally, typing up that other photo post from a few days back that mentions the glorious nation of France and the very very chatty French girl, I hastily saved my work on the computer. Whether it was fair enough to look or whether he was a nosy, snooping git I can't say with equanimity, but the French guy who replaced me on the machine looked it up and read it. Yes, somewhat over-inquisitive, what?

Anyway he clearly didn't quite understand it in its entirety because that evening, after he had `monopolised the machine for many hours` ;) he left it to me once more, and as he was leaving he came over with an overly-polite and highly condescending air and, leaning over as if the sheer smugness might cause spasms if he stood up straight, he said with a conceited little smile "I read what you said, you say you are a journalist, I will read it" (Okay I had said that I was. More of a hope than a fact yet, but hey. You were hardly compelled to read it though) "I read what you say, about the French blah-de-blah" so, thinking he had understood the finer points and global perspective of such matters, I offered a genuinely pleased "oh, you read it?" and he returned an almost ineffably smug "Yes" and sauntered away with a self-satisfied smile.

It was all he could do not to say "Oui." and primly purse his lips into a twisted smirk while stroking a small dog that had recently savaged my ankles, I'll bet.
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So anyway, the third case was days later still when the French girl and her chums sat down while I was using la Computere, and this time I had only just started, been there 15 minutes, I got off less than 10 minutes after that as I had done what was needed. Not an excessive time to wait, I think you'll agree.

As I got up to leave the French girl in question gave me an arch "you are finished???" and when I affirmed the overly-suggestive suggestion an impressively dramatic "Arrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" sprung from her lips, complete with overacted throwing up of the arms (they just about brushed the ceiling), and then a steady stream of dialogue spewed forth to her compatriots. Much guffawing and chortling was to be heard as I walked away, much of it in my direction just as their disparaging looks I saw clearly in the mirror were.

The French man had told the French girls that the Englishman had been making wisecracks about their very nationality - and they don't know each other, they just happen to be staying in the same place and are all French. They don't talk to each other in passing, never noticeably make eye contact, never have had a conversation in the fair few times I've seen them together in the lobby.
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Hence the conspiracy theory. Now I ask you; if you were in foreign hotel and you noted something a fellow traveller from some other country had said or wrote about England, maybe your perception of it was not wholly nice, but it was hardly damning or racist (actually somewhat complimentary...) - would you go and tell the other English guests, who are also strangers all about it?

I can see that it is plausible that you might. It could have come up in conversation, yet it is all but impossible that it would have come up without some reference to the person who wrote it; perhaps this happens because some people from some places are more given to being either a little unrighteously indignant, or perhaps have the arrogant attitude necessary to publically find fault in strangers? I hope it could only be one, and not both of these.

Combined with the 1st case of exceedingly hasty judgement and the audacity to actually tell a stranger about this judgement you have made of them, plus the impolite insistence and lack of diplomacy in phrasing of the 2nd case where you go and tell someone else to not use some public facility because you want to use it instead, leads me to think rather less of the French, sadly.

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These are only the incidents that happened to one person of course, but they happened in one room, one public space, in less than one week. Makes them seem a little arrogant, non?

Then again of course, they might all just be Parisians.